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10:06 p.m. - June 14, 2002 I have fallen in love. Again. This is what happened. I went to the Neue Pinothek today, grabbed a map, didn't look at it and just followed room numbers instead. I was presented with room after room of Neoclassical and Romantic works. my heart sank. Even though I saw some striking pieces of art, such as August Riedel's Judith, and a painting called M�rchen vom Aschenbr�del by Moritz von Schwind, they remained, for the most part, very much the same: lots of portraits and landscapes. The style is very distinctive: smooth canvases, smooth brushstrokes, lots of blacks and browns, so when I saw Bacchantengruppe by Hans Makari it was sort of a fresh breath: with bold, warm colors of the sun, but still not the sort of style I go for. I did find a new artist that I did not hear of before: Hans von Maries. He has some lovely paintings of "The Golden Age". But I still haven't talked about how I fell in love, all over again. I walked into another room and the first painting I saw was Vincent van Gogh's Sunflowers. My heart just about burst with joy when I made it to the rooms with Impressionist works. I have seen this painting many times in reproductions and even in the countless times I've watched Little Man Tate, my favorite movie. I never thought it was beautiful before. But nothing could have prepared me for the brilliance of the colors: the pale aqua background, the brushstrokes depicting the blooms in the vase. I didn't know how bright and sunny the painting actually was. I could see how much oil paint was on the canvas and I fell in love with the painting, which really surprised me because other paintings by van Gogh have always caught my attention (Starry Night and Lilies). I couldn't help but stare at the painting, the signature on the vase, his name, "Vincent" claiming his work, marking it desperately. All I could think of was his sad life: how no one wanted to buy his paintings. Only one person ever bought one of his works while he was alive: his brother. There is a painting in the Cleveland Museum of Art that was done by van Gogh, and it was painted on a red and white checkered tablecloth: the man didn't have enough money to buy a canvas. Other pieces of his work were painted over previous paintings. Dear Vincent, how I love you. Forgive me. I didn't want to leave the room. Forgive me for ever thinking that Sunflowers was not a worthy work. I tore myself away after coming back to the room again, after seeing another room of impressionist and expressionist works, and I stared at Sunflowers until it was time for me to leave. I will try and visit again.
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