4:23 a.m. - August 06, 2002
Metamorphoses
One negative about having to share a computer with the family is the fact that well, everyone wants to get on all at the same time. I have a few minutes (sometimes) in the morning before work to check email and to read my comics and jot a few quick notes. But now I find that I write less and less, fewer and fewer emails, and I haven't read Ebert's movie reviews for about two weeks or three weeks now. I haven't checked out Voyager Virtual Season for a while.

Sometimes I feel guilty, but at the same time, it's also a bit liberating. There's a lot to do, and I'm doing (some of) it. Still need to wash my laundry and clean my room, though, but I really have been busy at work, meeting people, going out shopping for work clothes/school clothes, reading good books...

One good thing about living abroad for one year is that I don't miss TV as much, since I got all reruns while abroad. The only things I like to watch now are Candid Camera and Whose Line is it Anyway?. And I don't care about Ross and Rachel or Chandler and Monica; I don't care about Star Trek (since Voyager is off the air and I have not seen Enterprise. Is this what it feels like not to be a TV addict anymore?

I went shopping the other day with an old friend of mine, Vera. Vera is two years younger than me and for as long as I've known her, she's been insecure and unhappy with herself (I'm not sure why). But oh my goodness. In one year, she has changed so much! She's become confident, has a quick sense of humor about herself, which she has never had before, and frankly, she now dresses like a frumpy person--and I don't mean this in a bad way. But instead of the form fitting clothes (and skimpy stuff) she used to wear...she's wearing huge baggy clothes and is loving it. She wants people to take her seriously, she doesn't want people to treat her like a dumb girl to be conquered and I'm proud of her for finally being able to be happy with herself.

And she is going (back) to college this fall, albeit a technical college. Her choice of major surprised me, since I always thought she'd end up in business, since it's in her family, or fashion design/merchandising, or beauty school. Frankly, the Old Vera is more like Cher or Dionne from Clueless. She's planning to be a mechanic in the future, so she's going to study automotive technology or something, and she's excited. She's excited to be working on cars, and she's excited to break all those expectations of herself (and of women).

I'm so proud of her. And I'm not afraid to go shopping with her anymore, since strange guys and boys no longer come, entranced by the (now disused) come-hither stare she was an expert at by the age of 15.

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