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10:57 p.m. - October 06, 2002
Resolutions
Apparently, people don't like to visit me on Sundays. But that's okay, as I really am supposed to be doing work on Sunday (hah) but now I am resigned to the fact that I probably need to work harder than ever to make myself feel comfortable in this new, ultracompetive environment at grad school. How come no one told me just how competitive grad school really is?

Gosh darn it, this weekend I was thinking about how I felt like my classmates were catty and nosy and downright gossipy--and I wasn't feeling so hot about it over the weekend (that's not to say I had a lousy weekend; quite the opposite. I had fun yesterday. More about it later). Anyway, today I had a talk with my mom, which involved a lot of tears and a little bit of resentment, but now it's better. At first she was making all sorts of suggestions like, "let's join an exercise club", and honestly, the last thing I want to do is join an exercise club with my mom. That's not to say it's a bad thing for anyone but me. I don't think I'd be able to handle exercising with my mom. Nuh-uh. She then pulled out the telephone directory of the local university and started reading the different group names of organizations on the campus. One problem. I am not a student at that university. But it was an idea.

And that, combined with her original comment about an exercise club, makes me think some more. I want to take dance lessons--swing, salsa, merengue, or something lively and fast that I'll enjoy. So I just jotted off an email to a friend of mine, who is not going to the same university as I am, to see if she'd be interested in going to some lessons with me. So I'm going to try to find out more. I need to fill my niche, especially since I can't bear to spend the rest of my four years with only the people in my major. There are limits to my tolerance.

Yesterday was nice because I got to take a break from the cattiness of my classmates and got to see my brother singing (he's a Madrigal). Their group is so good, and I ended up videotaping their performances at the Renaissance Faire...I spent way too much money (as I am wont to at those fairs). For the heck of it, I entered a raffle ($1 "donation") for a ride on the Goodyear Blimp.

As I started filming my brother, they called my name over the loudspeakers to come to the booth to collect my prize (which was not a ride on the Goodyear Blimp, but that's okay). I was told to select a prize from the table, and since there were artisans and crafters at the fair, a select number of artisans donated some of their products to the raffle, and I was despairing of ever finding anything for myself.

Craft items made out of muslin. An overly decorated bracelet. A beautiful calligraphy piece that said "architect" with some old stamps on it. I sank even deeper into despair when I saw a small box on the top shelf. A plain necklace with a pendant--a star pendant that looked like a comet with its tail folded over, so the chain could pass through the loop.

I thought to myself, "Well, it's probably goldplated, but it's better than nothing. And it's better than the rest of the stuff on the table." So I took it and decided to find the booth belonging to the artisan who made the necklace, and I found it pretty quickly. I saw the exact same necklace on display, so I asked how much it was. It was $82! And it is 14 K gold!

Whoa. Of course, I was happy about this. And on the videotape of the Madrigal performance, you can hear my name being called and me trying to find someone to videotape my brother while I ran off to collect my prize. It's hilarious. I'm still happy about it because I hardly ever win anything. Anything nice, that is.

And oh, as my brother was juggling, I turned around and saw my professor from the university. This was good. Funny, rather. Then a few minutes later I ran into one of my catty classmates. After watching my brother yesterday, I developed some new goals.

Since I have absolutely no talent for singing, I'm going to ask Jonathan to teach me how to juggle. I think it'll be my hidden talent. Yeah.

 

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