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10:58 p.m. - July 13, 2003
feeling more like me
Soooo....

I feel better now. All weekend I was feeling like crap because of my issues with guys. Basically, all the guys I like don't ever seem to be attracted to me, and all the guys I am not interested in, all want to date me.

This is going to sound really weird. But last night, I had a dream that Cutie # 1 emailed me and apologized for not writing. So I felt better when I awoke. But after a while, I started getting mad again. It has a lot to do with my feeling like he was well, playing games...and so I got all pissed off again...then I emailed him a short email saying that if I said anything that bothered/offended him, then I apologize. And then I asked him for the name of this author he said he likes to read. Of course, i read an exerpt from one of her works online, but as usual, I forgot her name. Grr.

For whatever reason, that helped. I have no damn idea why. Hell, if he doesn't write back, I think I'll be fine. It has a lot to do with my being able to get the final word in or whatever. And I decided if he writes me back, then I'll take back some of my rants (ie, calling him "Toad" to my friend) and then take my sweet time writing him back--which won't be a problem since I'll be going to Baltimore later this week, and therefore, probably without ready internet access.

I am so weird.

Then I watched a really good episode of The Dead Zone, so I am very happy. I love that show. Yes. I really do. I can't believe how cute Anthony Michael Hall has gotten since the 80's. Whew. Hot.

Oh, and I found out there are going to be some performances of "The Spoon River Anthology" in and around Cleveland, in graveyards at night. I'd have loved to see it, had it not been for the fact that it is (a) in a graveyard and (2) at night IN a graveyard. No matter if the graveyard is pretty, I'm still scared of them. Argh. I guess the only way I'd go is if I had a date or a friend who would hold me down every time I would feel like running out of the place. That's me.

Running out of graveyards, and running away from committment is more my style...

I also discovered that the art museum draws a lot of cute boys. Maybe I ought to start hanging out there. Maybe I'll meet a cute arty, brainy, lean, wonderful guy. Just my type. Oh, and someone who can spell, that's really important.

I think i mentioned that I think a football player has a bit of a crush on me. He also told me he's doing something like Olympic weight training or whatever. I then promptly had this image of arnold schwarzenneger in my head, gad. He also can't spell that well. But he reads some of the same stuff I do. He's just more...hmm...sporty...than I am, obviously.

 

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