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2:48 p.m. - August 24, 2003 And over the past week, I've just been really busy with people--my friends. Birthdays, get-togethers, film festivals at the art museum, and also with my thoughts. I did hit a low point last week, and I have since then sorted it out and I feel like, 99.9% better about things now. But that's life, isn't it? Low points, high points, each coming to peaks and valleys till it all evens out somewhere on a plateau in between. All I will say is I've re-done my goals for life--after I get my degree, I'll work -- maybe part-time -- and then go back to school part-time and study art, photography, or interior design, in the hopes that I can finally integrate both the creative and practical souls within my being. I need to do this, and I think this is the root of my crisis--the acknowledgment of both halves, because I can't live without either of them. I know people who can, but I simply am not one of them, and I've come to that realization. So here's to the new me. I shall work on being happy and content with this. I will be, I think. Perhaps my goals will change sometime, but right now, this is what I want from my life. And it's all thanks to Todd that I realized what I really wanted for myself, and why I felt so bad about things. I know that's silly, though. So basically, even though things never worked out the way I would have liked them too, I really appreciate the very minute role Todd played in my life. So thanks. And oh, by the way, I've been tooling around on that dating site, and I swear, I am going to get the most out of my 20 dollars these last two weeks of my membership. Who knows? I did find a few other cute, intriguing guys (and a lot of tools and dweebs). Speaking of dweeb, there is one who's been talking to me and he's just soooooo nerdy. Imagine: comic books, dark fantasy, horror. And that's all he ever talks about. Dears, you know that I love everything, and as much as I like fantasy, it's limiting to talk about the roles my favorite actors and actresses play in his favorite fantasy/horror flicks. Case in point: my email signature is at times a line from a Lisa Loeb song, and he mentions...Spiderman. I may be a Lisa fan, but I'm not that obsessed. I mention Drew Barrymore. He mentions...Donnie Darko. He's amazed I never saw a single Dracula movie. I think he's amazed that I don't give a flying flip for the things he likes. My idea of a good movie: Little Man Tate. His: The Night of the Living Dead. Good author: Me: Sharyn McCrumb, Elizabeth Peters/Barbara Michaels, Annie Dillard. Him: Stephen King. Conversations with this dude are really limited. Everything is fantasy, fantasy, fantasy, horror, horror, movies, movies, movies. Egad! And he wants to meet me. What the hell do we talk about???? No wonder he's on match.com. I don't know many girls who could tolerate discussions about fantasy 24/7. I'd go nuts, too.
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