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10:13 p.m. - March 09, 2004 "So, say you were meeting a new person--blind date, new friend, who knows--and you wanted them to have some idea of what kind of person you are, and who you are. But you can't actually tell them in so many words. Instead, you have to give them a box, with a dozen things in it for them to look at/read/listen to/taste/whatever. What would you put in the box? And a copy of your journal or a link to your journal would be the same thing as just telling them directly, yourself, so that's not allowed." (1) A copy of "The Secret Garden" and sorry I have not been up-to-date with my scribblings. I've been consumed by the terror otherwise known as midterms. I think I have no life. All I do nowadays is study, study, study. It's really quite sad. And very stressful. I'm ready for my spring break now. I did something strange; not bad, I don't think. For some reason, I seem to get these weird matchmaker things from EMode, and that escapes me because I have no idea why I get them. Anyhow, they say stuff like, "Your matches for __date!" I do read them each time I get them, out of morbid curiosity. Well, I saw someone who I swear is my friend's type! I then emailed him, and tonight, as I was thinking it over, I thought, "well, that was stupid." so I went to un-send the email, and too-late-he-already-checked-his-email. Oh well. He did write back immediately. This is probably one of those weird impulsive things I've done. Also, I ran into my old best friend from high school the other day, just last week, actually. It's quite odd becuase I know I made a conscious choice about five or six years ago that I wasn't going to contact her again, because she was taking me for granted, and moreover, our friendship for granted. There's a lot more involved in this, but that's the gist of it. Anyway, she handed me a piece of paper with her phone number and email scribbled on it and I gave her mine. I still have not written or called her, and I decided that I am going to leave the ball in her court. If she wants to renew that friendship, she can. If not, well, that's her decision. I am a little confused by this; I somehow can't help but feel a little annoyed that it seems like she expects me to make the first move, as I always did--did you know she never called me? it was me who called her. I seriously can't decide whether to contact her or not; somehow the highschooler in me doesn't want to get hurt by this particular person again. But at the same time, I also feel like maybe she's grown up? Who knows? or maybe we'll just exchange the obligatory 3 emails and then never contact each other again? That's why I can't decide.
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